Thursday, January 1, 2015

2015 begins

When I was a kid I remember any talk of future years that were in the late part of the last century seemed outrageously far away. And the new millenium seemed an impossible eventuality. Yet here we are a decade and a half into the "2000's" thanks to the amazingly fleeting nature of time.

2014 whizzed by in a blur on the heels of blurry 2013. The reason for that was that late in 2012 my mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and it really changed things for mom and all us kids. She had to have a sudden major operation with a long painful recovery. We saw the new year of 2013 in at the hospital.

Once mom was strong enough, she had faced the long chemotherapy haul. By fall of last year, it seemed like things were looking up. But one memorable day in October she had a seizure and from there it was all downhill. The doctors found two tumors in her brain.

I remember one doctor telling me that the "by the book" life expectancy given her circumstances was about eight weeks. I guess we caught a little break because we had her for a little better than 10 weeks. We saw the new year of 2014 in not in a hospital but in a hospice facility. Rough times.

It's been just about a year now since we said goodbye to mom. This year has been difficult. Adjusting to not having her around. Getting used to thinking about things I'd like to share with her and knowing that I can't just give her a call.

Then there's been the "stuff". Mom was not a wealthy woman and compared to some did not have a lot of possessions, and for the most part what she owned was not particularly valuable. But still.... there was stuff. Things, papers, mementos...just "stuff". We had a couple of yard sales. Divvied up the rest by who had space for it until we could sort and cull and disperse. My portion wasn't really that much, but it pretty much took me all year to deal with. It was a procrastination issue more than anything. Dealing with it was more about moving on than anything and I guess I just wasn't ready for that until very recently.

I've spent several weeks working on that challenge and I was surprised at how emotional some of the tasks still were. But it's been a good process mostly and I feel good and more in control of my life again. Not so stagnant. I've got lots more I'd like to do but I'm off to a good start. The living room is presentable and we can have company {without utter shame} again!

Here's to simplification and spending more time with and appreciating loved ones in 2015.

1 comment:

scrapchick said...

Thinking of you today...